Balitang Kutsero
By Perry Diaz
Illustration by Dave San Pedro
The third-grade teacher asked her pupils, “Whose ‘simple living’ style do you like best and why?” Joselito raised his hand and stood up, “Ma’am, I like Nelson Mandela’s ‘simple living’ style cuz he is respected by his people.” “Very good, how about you, Isabelita?” the teacher said. Isabelita stood up and said, “Ma’am, I like the ‘simple living’ style of Cory Aquino and that’s why the people loved her.” “Excellent! How about you, Miguelito?” “Huh? Me?” Miguelito asked. “Yes, you!” The teacher said. Miguelito stood up, looked around, and then said, “Well, I like the ‘simple living’ style of P-Noy.” “Why?” the teacher asked. “Cuz… P-Noy likes girls, guns, and guzzlers,” said Miguelito. “Huh? Can you explain?” asked the teacher. “Well… you see, he’s a bachelor with many girlfriends. He hangs out with his ‘shooting buddies’ Rico and Ronnie all the time. He has a gas-guzzling twin-turbo Porsche and a bullet-proof Lexus. He has Mojo Jojo to run Malacañang while he’s having a good time. He has Mar Roxas to trouble-shoot his Porsche and Lexus. He lives in a two-bedroom bungalow by the Pasig River he calls ‘Bahay Pangarap,’ guarded by a battalion of soldiers. And he plays with his XBOX 360 all night long. That’s the kind of ‘simple living’ I like. Oh, I forgot to say…” “That’s enough!” shouts the teacher, “Class dismissed!”
What is “simple living”? R.A. 6713, Section 4 (H) states: “Public officials and employees and their families shall lead modest lives appropriate to their positions and income. They shall not indulge in extravagant or ostentatious display of wealth in any form.” Is President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III living a “simple” lifestyle? According to Presidential Communications Operations Office head Sonny Coloma, “riding either in the Lexus or Porsche has not changed the President’s ‘simple’ lifestyle.” Let’s see… the “third-hand” (kuno) Porsche 911 twin-turbo Carrera costs P4.5 million (kuno) and the bullet-proof Lexus LX 750 SUV costs P7.5 million (kuno). But for the next 5.5 years, P-Noy doesn’t need to own a sports car and a bullet-proof SUV cuz his “bosses” – the Filipino people – have already provided him with a classy Mercedes Benz S600 limousine.
P-Noy claimed that a brother-in-law lent him the Lexus “for its security features.” Then he changed his story saying that a campaign supporter had lent him the car. But when pressed by reporters, he wouldn’t identify the “supporter.” Well, as it turned out, the Office of the President is going to foot the bill for the lease of the bullet-proof Lexus. The problem is: First, he lied. Secondly, he lied again. And thirdly, why did he lie about it in the first place? Didn’t some wise man once say, “Once a liar, always a liar”? If he continues to lie, his “bosses” might start calling him, “Pinoycchio.”
Where is Rico Puno… After lying low and out of reach of the media’s radar screen, P-Noy’s “shooting buddy,” DILG Undersecretary Rico E. Puno, has finally come out of hibernation. But guess where he is? He’s in Washington, DC for a three-month training on police matters. It’s no wonder, the jueteng lords, drug lords, and carnapping gangs are having fun! Like they say, “When the cat is away, the mouse will play.” Wait till Rico comes back with all the tricks of the trade. But let’s just hope that he’s got cojones to go after the jueteng lords, drug lords, and carnapping gangs.
From Lakas to Wakas… After the landslide victory of P-Noy last year, the dismemberment of the Lakas-Kampi-CMD was bound to happen. Once the super political party that ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo built to propel her vehicle to empowerment beyond the terminus of her presidency, Lakas is nearing the “wakas” (end) of its usefulness. And from its ashes rose a new political party. Called the National Union Party (NUP), it consists of members of the original Kampi, which Gloria founded 13 years ago. But Gloria did not join them. She decided to stick it out with a handful of Lakas-Kampi-Christian-Muslim-Democrat loyalists. Perhaps they should shorten the name cuz its sounds silly when the name has more letters in it than the number of members. Just call it “Wakas.”
Ping is back… The Court of Appeals (CA) cleared Sen. Ping Lacson of “any involvement in the murder of publicist Salvador ‘Bubby’ Dacer and his driver Emmanuel Corbito in 2000.” The CA also nullified the warrant of arrest issued by the RTC last year, which was what prompted Ping to go on the lam.
But Justice Secretary Leila de Lima – like a pit bull – said that she’d still hunt Ping down because the warrant of arrest for Ping stays despite the CA ruling. Whoa! I didn’t know that the Justice Secretary is above the CA. Or was she just trying to save face cuz she couldn’t find Ping for the eight months she has been in office? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ping would show up in Leila’s office and say, “I understand you’re looking for me Leila.” And picture how Leila would react. Would it be “Grrrr” like a pit bull or “Meow” like a pussycat?
Noisy minority… A new group in Facebook called “The Noisy Minority” recently emerged and is now one the noisiest – if not the noisiest – groups in Facebook. It was started by Leslie Bocobo. The discussions are no-holds-barred and anybody could be the subject of the discussion. So far, P-Noy is the number one subject, followed by Gloria.
A recent post goes: BINAY: “Sir, your ‘daang matuwid’ is now a zig-zag road. May I suggest you write a goodbye letter to the Filipino people?” AQUINO: “Why, where are they going?”
Here’s another post: “In the Philippines we address rapists, drug addicts, plunderers, corrupt, cheats and the likes as “YOUR HONOR” and incompetents as “YOUR EXCELLENCY.”
Gloria receiving Don Quixote Award from King Juan Carlos
WALA NA BANG MATINONG TAONG NATITIRA SA PINAS PARA MAMUNO? HINDI NA 3RD WORLD COUNTRY ANG PINAS, LAST SECTION NA.
‘Liar, liar, you’re pant’s on fire’. He thinks being a president is a walk in the park, he doesn’t seem to care what people say about him, his life style and his inability to lead. The only thing we’ve seen is wang-wang ban, which for lack of the latest update is holding. In the mean time it’s business as usual, delegation, committees, investigations, blame game — his leadership style. 15 million voters got fooled. Don’t look at me, I didn’t vote for him.
There’s no one to blame but the Filipino people themselves, and because of ignorance and lack of common sense, they will continue to vote for the same people who does’nt really care whether the country fell on its face as long as their egos and their bank accounts are taken care of. P-Noy is no different from his mother, she was catapulted into fame because of what happened to her husband, but as president I feel she was a little bit weak due to lack of leadership and experience, I also feel that she is too forgiving to people who took advantage of her. The next few weeks is really going to be a real test for P-Noy, with the testimony of very credible witnesses regarding the misuse of funds within the Armed Forces, there are a lot of people who are going to be watching very closely how he handle these situation. Let’s hope that he uses good judgement and common sense when dealing with former general Cimatu if he is found to be a recepient of what they called “pabaon money”. They should hang all these general and take away everything that did’nt belong to them including their pension. If you commit a very serious crime while on active duty, the consequences are possible court martial, porfeiture of all pay and benefits including the loss of pension and time in prison. They need to set an example for aspiring officers who wants to follow the footsteps of these officers.