The news doesn’t start until the third page. Ads come first.
The editorial page is printed in Sanskrit.
The cooking editor tries to do recipes of McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
Some wise guy in the HR department fired all of the sportswriters. The football game was covered by the women’s editor in a nice frilly skirt with sequins and tassles.
The theater critic couldn’t find her seat and then got locked in the bathroom for the second act. She found it the next day still attached to the chair.
Some wise guy set all of the type of the Sunday edition backwards. Inventive news hawks sold mirrors with every copy.
The dates for the horoscopes were switched. One thousand Aquarians in January tried to have fun in the city swimming pool.
Somebody misnumbered the pages and page thirteen was missing which had the lottery results. The switchboard was jammed for six hours. Nobody won that day.
Somebody spelled the President’s name, Barrack O’Bama in honor of St. Patrick’s day.
The food chef column printed the recipe incorrectly printing "hamster" instead of "ham steak". Hospitals across the city were jammed with sick dining readers for two days.