One time I got sick and landed in the hospital. There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "and how are we doing this morning?"
Or.... "are we ready for a bath?"
Or... "are we hungry?"
I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing.
So you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying, "well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!"
The nurse fainted... I just smiled!
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE... you'll lose every time!