Matrimonial Problems

Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Sammy."

"Sammy! But he is your enemy!"

"Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years, so let him suffer now."

Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after 10 years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Talk About Husband

One woman told another: "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

"I would love to," replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at 3 o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?"

The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Problem Father

· "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"

He replied, "I'm going to be a father."

"But that's wonderful," I said.

"What's so wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet."