Giving it a name

Lowdown

Giving it a name

By Jojo A. Robles

Sure, most people now know that Noynoying is being lazy at the highest levels of government. But apart from the simple negative meanings of inaction, malingering, lack of focus, indifference and just plain apathy, Noynoying can also mean being actively engaged in something — just not the things that matter to you and me.

For instance, when President Noynoy Aquino says nothing can be done about something and then proceeds to do just that, nothing, he’s Noynoying. But when he does something that is important only to him, he’s Noynoying, as well, because nothing of any importance still gets done.

When Aquino attempts to claim credit for things that he did nothing to bring about but which turn out okay, he’s Noynoying. And even when he tries to convince everyone that he is hard at work, why, he’s probably just Noynoying.

Nearly two years into Aquino’s term, some people have hit upon the perfect word to describe what this President does. And despite the best efforts of Malacañang’s propagandists — both inside and outside the palace’s grounds — it doesn’t look like the newfangled term will go away.

Indeed, almost everything Aquino has done so far can be considered Noynoying. And when he’s done, Aquino may look back at how he spent his laid-back years in office as a job that kept him from doing the things he’d much rather be doing, if he hadn’t been saddled with something that, for the first time in his life, required him to work.

What qualifies as Noynoying so far?

Well, Noynoying was Aquino’s first order of business when he went after his political enemies, ushering in an unprecedented period of vendetta. This way, he got his chief political enemy, Gloria Arroyo, jailed and his second nemesis, Renato Corona, impeached—but not much else.

Aquino was Noynoying when he disappeared during the Rizal Park hostage fiasco, resurfacing only early in the morning to survey the carnage with a silly smile on his face. He was certainly Noynoying when he refused to punish any of his people, even if the investigating panel he formed (and lots of Hong Kong residents) demanded that he do so.

(Aquino has so steadfastly refused to sanction anyone close to him, whatever the offense, that this form of Noynoying is practically government policy. Even the most notorious “Noynoyers” always escape with the impunity that Aquino insists only people from the previous administration enjoyed.)

Aquino is Noynoying about petroleum prices when he says he cannot do anything to bring them down, not even reducing the VAT for these products. The fact that his government earns more money when oil prices increase may have convinced Aquino to “Noynoy” even more, even if everyone else suffers.

Aquino is Noynoying when he says the economy is improving because of upgrades from international ratings agencies and increased trading in the stock market. He’s Noynoying because these same agencies gave high ratings to mortgage firms that cause the world economic recession and because nobody is really investing here.

As for the stock market, not only do upticks mean nothing to almost anyone outside it, the funds “investors” there bring in flee at the first sign of turbulence. Stock market inflows are the equivalent of financial Noynoying, compared to real investing in manufacturing and other industries, after all.

And Aquino is Noynoying when he has sudden bursts of passion like when he declared that coconut juice would save the economy. And when he forgets these passions as suddenly as they appeared, it must be because he’s Noynoying yet again.

Certainly, Aquino is Noynoying when he takes the easy route of entrusting our national security to the US military. And when he rattles his saber at the Chinese, secure (or not) under Uncle Sam’s wings, he’s Noynoying pseudo-patriotically.

Aquino is Noynoying when he resorts to propaganda to appear to be working, which is like showing your time card when your boss asks you what you’ve accomplished. And he’s definitely Noynoying when he’s seen around town escorting the women he’s courting, clubbing and disappearing for days on end for mysterious reasons.

And Aquino is Noynoying when gives the poor cash doles and public utility drivers discount cards. Not only did he not start these projects himself, he and his minions routinely criticized them when the previous administration began them.

Aquino must certainly be Noynoying when he routinely fails to appear for scheduled appointments or arrives hours after he’s supposed to come. And he’s Noynoying when he refuses to visit people stricken by calamities until his presence is no longer required or his spokesmen can no longer explain his absence.

No one knows what form Noynoying will take in the future because about the only thing anyone can be certain of is that Aquino’s favored actions — and his usual inaction — will continue. But at least now it has a name.