This has actually been going on for so long already. An OFW would work abroad, earn a lot more than he would in The Philippines which he would then send to his relatives, friends and anyone who could fool him to part with his money. People in The Philippines would give a lot of BS reasons as to why the OFW should give to them. We shall dispel these BS reasons in this article so you as an OFW can have the resolve to hold on to your money which you earned and you rightfully deserve. You also need to learn to make that money grow rather than put it in the hands of consumerists back in The Philippines who would merely make it vanish in thin air.
I. DON’T LET THEM TELL YOU YOU ARE “LUCKY”
People in The Philippines would try to make you feel guilty and imply that you are “lucky” to be working abroad therefore you have the obligation to “share” your “blessings” with the “less fortinate”. Unless you benefit from something like a lottery win, I believe that everyone’s situation in life was brought about by his conscious decisions and actions. If the OFW did not develop his or her skills, invest in whatever monetary considerations are needed to make working abroad possible and bravely go to a strange land adapting to a different culture then he or she would not succeed. Luck has little or nothing to do with it.
I am an OFW and I could say that my decisions are what led me to where I am, not a ball landing on the right number on a roulette table. To be able to qualify for a position in the Middle East, I developled my computer skills to a high level to the point of getting an MCP certification along with a myriad of other technical knowledge that could go along with it. That took a lot of hard work entailing reading thick books and practicing on the computer for long hours. Those who preferred to party on a frequent basis, hang out uselessly for hours and value inanities instead of knowledge would of course not develop the skills to be anything so I do not see why I would give them even a single penny.
II. ALWAYS THINK THAT YOU NEED TO SAVE FOR YOUR OWN FUTURE
When I started working in the Middle East, I noticed that my co-workers were sending almost all their money to their relatives in The Philippines and leaving next to nothing for themselves. They also keep on buying the latest gadgets, clothing and jewelry they could get their hands on that they seem to not be able to save anything. I asked them why they keep doing those things and they said that they just wanted to be generous and happy.
As for me, I just lived a simple life. I just bought the basics such as my food, low priced (but decent) clothing and other necessities. The only major thing I bought was a computer so I could be entertained and be able to do some extra work. At the end of my contract, I had $17,000 in my bank account and I invested that in immigrating to the United States where I believe I wanted to live permanently. The investment paid off as I have been a legal permanent resident in the US and have successfully established myself to live here for the rest of my life. I have been here for over nine years now yet I have heard that most of my former co-workers are still in the Middle East, with no savings and uncertain about their future.
They would not be able to work in the Middle East forever so when they already grow old and weak and they do not have an investment that would make their future secure then they would be back to where they started once their OFW status fades into oblivion. They just kept throwing away money by giving heaps of it to their relatives (who are devoid of wisdom and discipline) instead of investing their money into something they could rely on when they get older such as immigrating to a first world country or putting up a thriving business (ran by themselves, not by relatives who would just screw it up and steal their money).
III. DO NOT MAKE THEM GUILT YOU INTO GIVING
The most common tactic of Filipinos who want to sucker an OFW into giving money to them is to use guilt. I am OK with giving to people who have genuine medical emergencies that are matters of life and death but for other reasons, I really would not give anything even if they cry an ocean of tears. They would imply (or even say explicitly) that you are greedy and self-centered if you don’t “help” them. I know a case of an elderly OFW nurse in the USA who owned property in The Philippines and she rented it out to her relatives. These relatives stopped paying rent and told the OFW that life is hard and they really do not have any money to spend on anything. The OFW, feeling sorry allowed them to live rent free for a few years and still paid her mortgage. One day, another relative of the OFW who is in the USA had his Facebook page open. He happily showed pictures of their relatives in The Philippines and she saw the ones living in her house. On the timeline, during the years that they were not paying rent she saw that they were going on vacation to Boracay, Pearl Farm, Palawan and having a great time. She then immediately demanded that they pay rent realizing that they were really not having a hard time since they kept going on vacations. What did she get in return? The relatives in her house told all their other relatives that she is “nothing but a greedy, self centered and selfish old woman”.
Another friend of mine who is a nurse confided in me that she married this uneducated Filipino guy who had no ambition or drive in life at all. She then heard that the guy’s family were saying that they “hit the jackpot” so I told her she has to brace herself for all the palms that would be facing up in front of her face waiting eagerly for her to drop them some greenbacks.
IV. NEVER BELIEVE IN PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU CAN GIVE THEM MONEY TO START A BUSINESS FOR YOU IN DA PINAS WHILE YOU ARE AWAY
A lot of OFWs have cases wherein relatives, friends or even random people would give them an idea that they would put up a business in Da Pinas using the OFW’s hard earned dollars only to find out that those people do not have a clue about running a business and screwed up their auto shop, carinderia, repair shop or other cockameemee scheme they were sold into participating in. By the time they find out, their dollars were already squandered. It is better to run your own business and know what you are doing by getting advice from people in the industry your business is in than have relatives swindle you out of your money.
V. WHAT I TELL MYSELF
Whenever someone from The Philippines tries to ask me for money, what I say is that all this money I have are earned by me and I would only give this money to someone who would give me something that I deem of equal value to it.
As an OFW, I have this money now because:
Those who are NOT willing to sacrifice in order to save, NOT smart enough to invest and NOT brave enough to risk do not deserve my money or anything they did not earn for that matter. They want what I have? They have to give me something of equal value or they have to also save, invest and risk so they can have money of their own.
VI. GIVING MONEY ON A REGULAR BASIS DEVELOPS A CULTURE OF MENDICANCY
You would always find a lot of unemployed OFW relatives who just do things like play basketball, hang out and sleep the whole day because (as one American with a Filipina wife told me) Filipinos are great enablers. As long as you keep giving to the Filipinos, they would never learn to stand on their own two feet or use their brains in order to make themselves productive. They would also develop a sense of entitlement over time that when you stop giving them money they would think that you are reneging on your “obligations”.
As an OFW, it is time for you to think about yourself. You need to have a stable future so you need to save money so you can invest it. Giving money to people in The Philippines does more harm than good when you look at the grand scheme of things. Think about it.
About the Author
rafterman has written 20 stories on this site.
=)
This is my FB status after I read this and this: http://antipinoy.com/bsn-binuhi-sa-nurse-binubuhay-ng-nurse-at-mga-iba-pang-kuwentong-ofw/
Its hard to be an OFW [even an immigrant/citizen of a foreign first world country] who relies on you. You need to sacrifice everything to give things that they want/need. However, at some point, they need to understand that being an OFW/immigrant/citizen or whatever is not just a walk in the park. We endure a lot of things like long working hours, budget crisis, discrimination, nepotism, favoritism, and among others.
For the OFWs, its not bad to send money to your family members [even distant relatives] especially in times of genuine need. There will be a certain point that you need to save for yourself. Don’t feel guilt or obligated to give everything to them; thus start investing yourself for the future.
For the beneficiaries of OFWs, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Do not totally rely on them by not working for yourselves and spend all their hard-earned money for your luxury and vices. They just don’t pick money from their backyard to give them to you. Don’t expect a lot of things to them for no one of you will predict the OFWs future in his/her place.
I just learned all these things when I entered the US Navy and free from the bonds of my family members after 25 years…
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Let’s see who will be butthurt in my circle of friends lolz :p
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hholla Reply:
March 20th, 2012 at 6:07 pm
There will be a lot of butts stinging later…lol…US Navy also…i will be one pissed b*tch if i see money i earned in the combat zone being wasted by relatives that can obviously work.
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Pan Doe Reply:
March 20th, 2012 at 7:23 pm
EXACTA!
even with other military personnel, just because we are in the military doesn’t mean were rich!
MOST [not all PINAYS ah baka may magalit na mag-generalize eh (",) ] PINAYS make their US Military husbands investments so that they can give money to their families and distant relatives. Then you will found out that they spend it with their vices and luxuries. My goodness.
Good thing my fiancee doesn’t ask for anything…I just fear that one day our respective families ask for money and use “utang na loob” as a bribe…oh well…I hope they will understand that we need to start for ourselves. yes we help them or we give money voluntarily but when they start to rely on us, that’s a different story…
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Ozneh Reply:
March 21st, 2012 at 11:18 am
I think it’s okay if your parents will rely on you because that’s some sort of obligation especially if they are old and their pension is not enough. After raising and putting you on that place, I think it’s time to give back (consuelo din sa magulang). Our parents gave us happiness by sending luxury items, boxes of chocolates, and money intended for tech-products. And when they return home it’s like fiesta, more balikbayan boxes means more happy smiles. Haha. Even distant relatives have their share. But before that, we go to Duty-Free and shop till we drop. And I think you will be called “kuripot” if you return home with nothing to give them. Chocolates don’t cost that much and you only return home once or twice a year so you are really expected to bring something. For immediate family members of OFWs like us, it’s normal if we use the money on what we want, they know that we really intend to use it on whatever purpose we want. No need to save, your gonna earn your own after graduation. Haha.
Ozneh Reply:
March 21st, 2012 at 11:34 am
*No need to save, you’ll gonna earn your own after graduation. Haha.
I agree, example- do not send money for medical emergencies, pay their PhilHealth if you can. I’ve even heard of fake OR’s, school bills, the works. The guilt is not healthy for anyone, especially the OFW, this is not love. The same is applied to many even still here, it is not right but the seed is planted from a very young age. I know several who left the country as OFW but really left to escape their families. The next generation will not break free if the burden of the previous generations is put on their backs. If I am wrong, give examples.
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This has got to be one of the best I have ever read from AntiPinoy. The culture of mendicancy was probably initiated by the Catholic Church–giving alms to the poor, how St. Francis gave up his wealth, and of course, during half time when they brandish that stick with a piece of clothing where you can drop off change and cash. It’s so funny how the Philippines is so poor but when you walk around, we see practically everyone wearing designer clothes and flashing their latest iPhones or iPads at Starbucks. It’s a vicious cycle: Philippine government steals, they can’t create jobs for the people, the Pinoy is forced to be slaves abroad, the Pinoy slave works hard and watches idiotic TFC shows and sends money back to the Philippines, the Pinoy slaves’ relatives spends remittance left and right to show off, the money goes back to the government and the church, then the government and church hail the uto-uto Pinoy slaves as HEROES! IT’S MORE FUN IN DA PILIPINS.
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I found this comment on this tread participated in by expats:
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=56137&sid=d4ac7278c2a2e406b9b321a7a0641677
When overseas Filipino workers send money back home to the Philippines. Their families go on an insane shopping spree and spend all the money buying useless products from the mall. They don’t use the money to save, start small businesses, or stimulate the economy in any meaningful way. The average Filipino, even though living in dire poverty, wants to instantly gratify themselves by buying the latest trendy products. Filipinos have inherited the worst traits from their foreign masters aka the Spanish and Americans. Since the premise they worship foreigners, they want to emulate everything the of the foreign lifestyle. Filipinos want to be Americans so bad they are willing to eat, dress, and gangster rap talk like them. The U.S. corporations welcome this because there’s a huge market of ignorant masses who want to be them and are willing to buy their products with the little money they have.
Filipinas want you to buy them things because they’re broke gold digging sluts. They are completely status-driven. They see a foreign Chinaman or American, and they assume he has money. The Western mentality is infecting the average Filipina mind to think she can be taken care of by this foreigner. The ones with money at the grocery stores are the ones who have husbands working in foreign countries and they are buying food to feed their families. Filipinos are selfish in this regard and will do anything for their own family unit. Decency and good-will be damned as long as they can benefit themselves and their immediate families.
The whole Philippine economy is on life support and overseas workers are the only form of income the island nation is generating. Without these OFWs, Philippines economy would crash immediately.http://www.economist.com/blogs/banyan/2010/02/philippines_and_its_remittance_economy
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pugot Reply:
March 18th, 2012 at 7:15 pm
“Filipinos have inherited the worst traits from their foreign masters aka the Spanish and Americans. Since the premise they worship foreigners, they want to emulate everything the of the foreign lifestyle.”
Stop blaming the Spaniards, the Americans, the Japanese or the Chinese. Let me ask you this, how come the aforementioned countries are better off than the Philippines? Nobody is to blame except for us. We phucked up and we are still phucking up. The country needs a mind-opening bloody revolution just like what happened in Spain, America, Japan and China. And look at them now, these countries have matured compared to the Philippines (a country acting like a 13 year old know-it-all). And one more thing, how come Filipinos in Spain, America, Japan and China are able to secure jobs and live responsibly? There are more Filipinos abroad living a better life than in the Philippines. So stop blaming others, look at ourselves and admit the fact that when it comes to independence and governance, DA PINOYS SUCK AT IT.
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Me Reply:
March 19th, 2012 at 6:30 am
This comment has valid points and some truths, but I agree to pugot that we should stop blaming our so-called colonial masters.
Also, I take particular offense at this line: “[Filipinas] with money in the grocery stores are the ones with husbands working in foreign countries…”
If you don’t want my sob story, don’t read! My dad abandoned us when I was around 10, so my mom supports my sister and me while we’re still in school. My mom, being a devout Catholic, never married again and she refused to look for a boyfriend. People found it strange, but my mom said she couldn’t care less about what people think.
Anyway, my mom attended a good university here and her grades were stellar, so she received a few good job offers. The starting salary wasn’t bad, but it was barely enough to cover two children in private school, utilities, rent, etc. My mom did her best to cut costs, so we lived a very simple life for a middle-class family. Unlike my classmates, we didn’t have a car (couldn’t afford one, so we all commuted), cable, a/c, expensive gadgets, etc. We would literally use things until they couldn’t be used anymore. For instance, I used my first cellphone (a cheap Nokia) for 4 years and I would’ve continued using it if it wasn’t stolen in the MRT. That’s how frugal we were.
Gradually, my mom was promoted and her salary increased. Instead of increasing our household expenses, she decided to place a certain percentage of her money in the bank (a portion in her savings account and some locked in a time deposit) and invest the rest in stocks. Today, my mom is VP in her company and she earns six-figures a month and several thousands from stocks (much more than the monthly minimum wage here). All three of us also have private health insurance apart from PhilHealth (which is practically a joke since the coverage is so limited), which gives us some security against potential health problems that may wipe out our savings. We’re still not extravagant, but we are no longer as deprived and insecure of our financial status as before. My mom’s ‘extravagant’ purchase was a second-hand car, which we have been using for the last 5 years.
The reason why I took offense at that line is that people always assume that my mom is a housewife (not that there is anything wrong with that per se) and that my dad works abroad whenever we go out to eat on the weekends or buy stuff in the grocery. I’ve actually had salesladies ask me where my dad was, what his job is, etc. People here don’t understand that you’re not supposed to ask strangers personal questions. My dad is a jerk. I don’t know where he is, what he does and he contributes NOTHING. My mom doesn’t leech off anyone and she doesn’t seek out foreign/local men to provide her things. People who assume that she’s just like everyone else pisses me off. As soon as I finish college, I’ll help out and do my part.
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@ Rhiena & others. I think it even goes before the OFW, the planting of the seed that it is an obligation to owe (and owe big time) for those who brought you into this world and kept you alive in some way. For me this seems very selfish. I had a friend at DLSU who had to quit college and get a job because her parents (in 50′s) decided they didn’t want to work anymore and retire. Between her older brothers contributions (he did finish college) and the job he could get her, they could retire. What kind of parent would ask their child to make that sort of sacrifice? Too many parents (everywhere) are selfish and totally miss the amazing opportunity of raising another being. Your children are not your own: http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html
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sarls Reply:
March 19th, 2012 at 10:59 pm
This sucks. I really hate it when parents send their kids to expensive schools only to become their retirement plan.
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This is another defective Culture in our country: the Culture of Extended Family. In a family, there is one, who is adventurous. He/She goes abroad, earn money, to send it back to his/her family. The family expects themselves to be “pensionados”, living on the OFW earnings/remittances. This is the truth: ” if you carry people on your back; their Legs will not work anymore.”
Our government is the largest recipient of OFW remittances. Without the OFW remittances, it would have been bankrupt, many years ago. Our economy is being floated, by the OFW slaves/Drug Mules remittances. This is the program of Noynoy Aquino and Binay…
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Luke Skywalker Reply:
March 19th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
” if you carry people on your back; their Legs will not work anymore.” – Wisdom I learned from Hyden Toro
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thanks for enlightening me…I also experience that GUILT feeling, whenever I decide to not give. But it all ends up to me sending money just because of that ” I should be grateful I am luckier”
You’re right, it all take RISKS, not to mention being away from one’s comfort zone
I am working on my giving attitude now
I should not feel guilty.
I should save for my future
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I forgot to mention, this is my most favorite post of antipinoy.com
it’s personal
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rafterman Reply:
March 21st, 2012 at 8:29 am
Thank you. I am glad you liked it. Pass it on.
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What a helpful article! Now I know how to handle my mom’s side (leechers!) Whenever they use guilt on my folks! Pfft! An uncle is staying with us for 5 yrs now without even looking for a damn job. Useless and pathetic! He’s fat.now thanks to the free food, and shelter my folks gave.him.. I wanna get rid of him cz I believe 5 yrs is enough for him to find a job or a business for a living. He’s such a lazy bum!
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