Take a break - jokes

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man. But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man
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An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. 
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz"
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel !"
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Sex is like a restaurant. 
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"
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What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated. 
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and... 
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
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Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
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Teacher: What do you want to become? 
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny:  Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it
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Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.
Dentist:  "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.."
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Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. 
The engraver shortened it to:  "RETURNED UNOPENED"
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75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.