Two kinds of thieves

HE SAYS
Two kinds of thieves
By Aldrin Cardon

Thieves, according to Wikipilinas’ Merck Maguddayao, aren’t those who steal things to put food on their tables.

They’re the big ones who steal what we’re supposed to feed our children.

They also steal money meant to print our children’s books, from the budget to procure blackboards and chalks, those supposedly meant to construct new schools.

They water down cements for roads, short order medicines for the sick, impose kickbacks on projects, grab indigenous people’s lands, and holy cow! They can also turn pesticides into water.

But in this age, they are called honorable.

They come in all shapes and sizes, but with best of prime positions no ordinary thief could ever dream of.

Ordinary thieves only think about their next big catch, like a newer model cellular phone perhaps or a real necklace with good value.

The honorables think about politics and the next government position they might win.

That’s why they steal votes, too.

They become mayors and governors. A select few become congressmen and senators. The prime cut of the meat become presidents.

They can send opponents to jail, which make them dangerous even to their own kind.

Honor among thieves is seen only in movies, they aren’t real.

After a long successful run, misfortunes had befallen Gloria Arroyo soon as she was out of real power.

Being a congresswoman is peanuts now, compared to her lofty stature then.

Her downfall was not without sacrifices, as proven by the suicide of one of her most loyal soldiers.

And then they fell. One by one, each according to their roles in the grand cover-up of crimes and deceit.

With Gloria foremost among them, it is only right she goes first.

First in her crimes is election sabotage. Yes, she is charged with stealing our votes.

But while people are rejoicing over her arrest (well, not much in the sense it was delivered but more on the symbolism that crime does not pay), some legal experts believe this case is only a stop gap measure meant to keep her in the country.

Chances are government can expect a tough job nailing Gloria over this case. It’s a 50-50 battle, only that government won the first battle by preventing Gloria’s flight, if she ever had planned on escaping.

If it was an inconvenience, people did not seem to have minded the traffic logjam we have experienced on Friday, when Gloria was transferred from the private, comfortable rooms of St. Luke’s to the more spartan facilities of the Veterans Memorial Medical Center. The AM radio signal seemed back in its heydays, with most drivers tuned in to the developments of the transfer, because finally the bricks are being laid for Gloria’s prison cell.

But maybe not in the way we wanted it.

We will continue to be tabbed for Gloria’s hospital arrest.

It isn’t President Aquino who’s paying her bills.

We will be carrying the brunt of her doctors’ fees, even if we cannot even always afford a visit to the clinics to check on our health.

And by golly, she had even demanded better toilet facilities when many among our compatriots still do their thing in gutters, manholes and riverbanks. And I’m sure once the newspapers you read have reached old age (that is minutes after a reader consumes all its contents, or at least those he likes), they would suffer the fate of the classy toilet papers. You see, aside from the vote, the call of nature is free and mankind’s greatest equalizer. Only that some people, like Gloria, do it in style.

She does it in style that she is making the biggest manure of a performance lately.

No, she no longer has a life-threatening disease. Call it a miracle!

Yes, she can now move about without a neck brace. Another miracle!

Yes, she claims she is still sick she cannot move to a jail cell. Damn!

But no, government does not seem inclined to allow her house arrest. Unless the court gets chummy with her and grants it.

Yes, Gloria seems so blessed she did noft even have to walk about in handcuffs. Darn!

And so, Merck sees the disparity between petty criminals and the plunderers of the nation’s wealth.

I agree with Merck, as I have witnessed the same with three suspects of petty crimes being arraigned in a court.

Their crimes ranged from snatching to stealing valuables no higher than P1,500.

They were placed on display, sharing just two handcuffs, their shirts disheveled, their sandals worn. After they were arraigned, they were led back to their cells and will have to wait until February for their next court date, unless their families can come up with enough money to post bail.

But who’ll post bail for them when they cannot even afford a jeepney ride to the court? These are people most of us look down with disdain.

And we call the bigger crocs honorable ma’ams and sirs.