LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS

1. Wear your glasses.
TO make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes,
In case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial
Before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case
You can't remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end
Up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually
Complete the act...

8. Make all the noise you want...
The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with
The good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice!!!

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,'
And you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot...

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face..

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as
You don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead
Of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take
Any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in
The parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use
The bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?



(I sent this in large type So you can read it)