Ponder isms
(Some things to think about)
| 1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. |
| 2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead. |
| 3- Life is sexually transmitted. |
| 4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. |
| 5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. |
| 6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. |
| 7- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? |
| 8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. |
| 9- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. |
| 10- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. |
| 11- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? |
| 12- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . . |
| 13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? |
| 14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? |
| 16- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? |
| 17- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? |
| 18- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? |
| 19- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? |
| 20- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address? |
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