Big

By Teddy Locsin Jr. / Free fire

AGENCE France Presse reports and I quote, “a man known for his enormous penis was stopped by security at San Francisco International Airport and questioned about the bulge in his pants.” Now that got me angry. Was airport security mocking him, playing with him? Different if it was Mae West asking in a sultry voice, “Is that a gun in your trousers or are you just happy to see me.”

But Jonah Falcon, 41, was not amused and neither should we be. Jonah’s organ is 9.5-inches long when flaccid and 13 inches when erect. At the airport, security noted saw a bulge in his left upper thigh and asked if he had something in his pocket. It is unusual for a man to carry a bologna onboard though I have done so because I hate airplane food.

But so far so fair, it was a legitimate question said in a straight way. Jonah answered no. They asked him if he had a growth. He told them it was his penis. They checked carefully but not too closely the area of his crotch. To be sure he had gone through the scanner that shows you naked so they knew what it was or wasn’t or those things don’t really show much.

So were they mocking him by asking him more questions? Sometimes, Jonah says, to cut to the chase, he just whips his longevity. But all told the inspection lasted just five minutes. I do not think Jonah Falcon has much to complain about. It is big. But no one had giggled or stretched the interview to call attention to his peculiar condition. If they had, he would have a cause of action against the San Francisco airport authority for mocking a deformity that all other men want.

On top of which Jonah has not been shy about something that, if normal sized, he should still keep to himself. He has appeared in many documentaries of the world’s biggest penises though not in any of those feature films with a single location, a monosyllabic script largely composed of grunts, and the same repetitive action to the same repetitive music.

I am impressed with the San Francisco airport authorities for the professional way they handled or rather did not handle the case in point. Had they laughed, they would have come a step closer to a government that persecutes its predecessor for the fact of having come before it and a church that denies a member of its congregation the rites of marriage because they are black. About prejudice, one can never be too alert or too fast on the draw but this one was all right.