I thought "negativity bias" would be its own principle.
It became clear, however, that this is part of Principle #2: Find goodness.
Knowing the negativity bias of the mind can help you find more goodness in your life.
Here’s a story that illustrates this:
Warm day. Mountain lake. Cold water. Blue sky. Warm granite in the sun.
Nothing’s better than napping in the warm sun after swimming in a cold lake.
People worry. Why worry? They were missing out. Sure, a tiger had been eating animals around the lake, but tigers are afraid of humans. There wasn’t enough meat on our bones, anyhow. Sheep, pigs, cows, yes, they had meat on their bones. But humans? Not worth the effort.
The last thing this man felt, perhaps, was the tickle of the tiger’s whiskers; the sharpness of the tiger’s claws.
As with all good stories, this one has some lessons.
The first lesson is don’t sleep where a tiger has been feeding!
The second lesson is not as obvious, though more important: Evolution favors the vigilant.
Our ancestors were the ones that survived: the vigilant ones, the anxious ones, the worried ones. We are the descendants of those who looked for what was wrong or what could go wrong.
In varying degrees, this is a trait we have all inherited.
Negativity Bias is what psychologists call the mind’s predisposition for the negative: to be vigilant; to look for what is wrong or what could go wrong.
Here’s an example: I recently posted a YouTube video. 690 people watched it. 89 people liked it. One person gave it the thumbs down. What does the mind say? Who could not like this video? Somebody didn’t like this video!?! Why would someone not like this video?
Notice the mind did not say, Awesome! 89 people liked this video!
How does knowing about the negativity bias help us?
When the mind focuses on what is wrong and what could go wrong, when the mind is vigilant, you can now recognize this helpful and protective characteristic of the mind, evaluate the information it is giving you, then make an informed decision as to whether or not it is valid.
Only one person didn’t like the video?
Wonderful!
My hips are too fat?
At least my legs work! Not everyone is so lucky. And I am alive! Plus I am walking each day! Good is happening!
I’m an idiot and no one likes me?
That’s not quite true. We’re all dealt cards in life. I’m playing mine as well as I can. I’m listening to Audible talks while driving and learning amazing things. I’m learning the guitar because research shows learning music strengthens the brain. I’ve always struggled socially, yes, but I am a good person. I am kind. I am generous. I am working on being patient and listening and really giving people my attention and asking about them and listening when they respond. I’m playing the cards I was dealt well. Plus, my partner loves me. I know that. I might not be for everybody, but then again, everybody is not for me. And I know that, with certainty, I am for some people. As some people are for me. Life is good.
I’m terrified of public speaking!
Is talking in front of others going to literally kill me? Why is this fear here? Back in the day, social rejection could lead to death. Without the tribe, you were all alone in the wilderness with tigers and bears. Today, however, if a group of people rejects me, that’s okay. I’m not going to die. Thank you for the warning, Vigilant Mind, but your input is no longer valid to this situation.
Knowing the negativity bias of the mind …
… you can identify when the mind is being negative; being vigilant; looking for what is wrong and for what could go wrong. You can evaluate whether the negative perspective has merit, and you can compensate for it ― focus on the positive; find goodness.
If you have negativity in the mind, this is natural; part of our birthright; what we’ve inherited from our ancestors; a trait which has kept our species alive.
It is not a bad thing.
Now that the world is so different from when we lived in a single tribe in the bushes with wolves, snakes, bears, and tigers ― we can give less credence to the mind’s vigilant negativity.
We can compensate for the negativity.
We can evaluate and dismiss negativity.
We can focus on the positive.
We can find goodness.
Sincerely,
Daiya
― Here’s the video for this email
― Do we see the glass as half-full or half-empty? Half-empty, baby! That’s our nature. The human mind is vigilant, guarded, defended, sensitive to slights, looking for what is wrong and what could go wrong. That’s the default nature of the mind. Must. Always. Survive. Must not be rejected and get kicked out of the tribe. That aspect of the mind helps keep us alive, but left unquestioned, it can forge a dank and dreary life making us discouraged, anxious, and depressed. Keep the negativity bias in check. Think of the negativity bias like a crazy relative. They’re always talking doom and gloom; conspiracy theories; whispering about who is out to get them. Mostly this relative can be ignored. When they tell you to check for traffic before crossing the street, however, it’s good to listen!
― You may notice that the negativity bias is so pervasive it can even become negative about being positive. That’s Pollyannish. Don’t be annoying. Positive people aren’t in touch with reality. As we’ve learned, data actually shows that positive people are more in touch with reality. The world is wealthier, healthier, and safer than ever before. Plus, you will be happier if you focus on what is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment