Saint Gloria

This is a joke circulating among Filipinos about former president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Hope it will make you smile even for a while. Have a nice day.

One Saturday afternoon in a beautiful country known as the Pearl of the Orient Seas but where politicians are known to be crooks, an aide of a former president named Gloria visited a bishop in the central region. He told the bishop that the former president would be attending the next day's Mass. Would the bishop kindly acknowledge her presence to his congregation and say a few words that would include calling her a saint?

Former president Gloria was among the most hated leaders in her country. She was said to have cheated when she ran for a second term and won despite pre-election surveys that showed her tailing the other candidates. Her people think that she had betrayed their trust after they supported her in a people power revolt that ousted a crooked leader.

During her terms, she was linked to many corruption scandals, including a telecommunications contract she bewtowed to a Beijing-backed company, allegedly masterminded by her husband whose name sounded like Mickey Mouse. There were so many shenanigans she was said to have done so much so that most, if no all, of the candidates she supported during the last elections lost.

Aware of all these issues, the bishop replied, "No, no, no. I don't like the woman at all. I believe all the charges leveled against her. I also believe she has been a hypocrite in going to church every now and then because I see that she worships material wealth more than God."

The aide then cut him: "Look, I will write a check here for a donation of P5,000,000 to your church if you would find a way to think of her as a saint."

The bishop thought about it for a while and said, "Well, the church can use the money so I will try to find a way to accommodate your request after tomorrow's sermon."

The aide wrote a check for P5,000,000.

Sunday came, former president Gloria sat prominently on the front pew with a huge retinue of clowns. As promised, after the sermon the bishop told the congregation that the former president was with them.

Then he said: "While the former president's presence is an honor to some of us, I am aware that majority of the citizens has no respect for her. We know the scandals hounding her during her two terms. She was said to have won the election because she cheated with the help of some corrupt members of the Commission on Elections whom she bribed."

The bishop paused when he saw the former president and her retinue stood up to leave. But she was prevailed upon to stay when a bishop's confidante told her that the prelate will say she is a saint at the end.

When the guests settled down, the bishop continued. "I believe all the charges leveled against her. And I know for a fact that she bribed many of my colleagues with cars and that's why they supported her during her watch. Aside from the cases she faces, she is now suffering from an ailment, which I hear has something to do with her spine. While, as Christians we are taught to love even our enemies, I know that many of us cannot bring ourselves to sympathize with her. Many of us even think that her current predicament is her comeuppance, her karma."

He made a final pause to deliver his punchline: "But compared with her husband, the former first gentleman, who was said to be the brains behind all those shenanigans, I can say that former president Gloria is a saint."

Source: http://salt-funstories.blogspot.com/2011/08/saint-gloria.html