QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

If you have 
sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or 
shoplifting?

Can you 
cry under water?

How 
important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated 
instead of just murdered?

Why do 
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your 
thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?

  

Once 
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for 
eternity?

Why does 
a round pizza come in a square box? 


What 
disease did cured ham actually have? 


How is 
it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to 
put wheels on luggage? 


Why is it 
that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two 
hours? 


If a deaf 
person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 



Why are 
you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 


Why do 
people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at 
things on the ground? 


Why do 
doctors leave the room while you change? 
They're going to see you naked anyway. 


Why is 
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? 


Why do 
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which 
no decent human being would eat? 


If Jimmy 
cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about 
him? 


 
If the 
professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he 
fix a hole in a boat? 


Why does 
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? 
They're both dogs! 


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy 
dinner? 


If corn 
oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby 
oil made from? 


If 
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from 
morons? 


Do the 
Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same 
tune? 


Why did 
you just try singing the two songs above? 


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a 
hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? 


Did you 
ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you 
take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 

Why, 
Why, Why

Why 
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going 
dead? 

Why 
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough 
money?

Why 
does someone believe 
you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint 
is wet? 

Why 
do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 

Why 
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why 
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver 
at him?

Why 
do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 

Whose 
idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? 

If 
people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why 
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always 
white?

Is 
there ever a day that mattresses are 
not on sale?

Why 
do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to 
eat will have materialized?

Why 
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, 
then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one 
more chance? 

Why 
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first 
try?

How 
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light 
fixtures?

When 
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then 
apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all 
right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're 
going?' 

Why 
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table 
you always manage to knock something else over? 

In 
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we 
complained about the heat?

How 
come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And 
my FAVORITE...... 
The 
statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from 
some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're 
okay, then it's you.