New Year’s resolutions

By Peter Wallace
Manila Standard Today

It’s the done thing, to list what is to be done in the coming year. I seem to be in a plagiarizing mood these days, so here goes.

First, let’s list what not to do, and Murphy is the expert on this one:

1. If anything can go wrong, it will.

2. Nothing is as easy as it looks.

3. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

4. Every solution breeds new problems.

5. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first wood pecker that came along would destroy civilization.

6. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

7. The first myth of management is that it exists.

8. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

9. All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

10. When all else fails, read the instructions (this one is designed for me).

11. If it seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.

Now, let’s move on to Peter’s Laws (I’d like to pretend I’m the Peter, I’m not. But I could have been as I adhere to all of these).

Peter’s Laws

The Creed of the Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive

1. If anything can go wrong, Fix It! (To hell with Murphy!)

2. When given a choice – Take Both!

3. Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.

4. Start at the top then work your way up.

5. Do it by the book…. But be the author!

6. When forced to compromise, ask for more.

7. If you can’t beat them, join them, then beat them.

8. If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now.

9. If you can’t win, change the rules.

10. If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them.

11. Perfection is not optional.

12. When faced without a challenge, make one.

13. “No” simply means begin again at one level higher.

14. Don’t walk when you can run.

15. Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, an intolerance for stupidity and a bulldozer when necessary.

16. When in doubt, THINK!

17. Patience is a virtue but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.

18. The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

19. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.

And finally some thoughts from an Authority you should listen to (just a chosen sample from the 10):

Commandment 4. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

Commandment 5. You shall not murder.

Commandment 6. You shall not commit adultery.

Commandment 7. You shall not steal.

Commandment 8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

I’m at a loss to understand how the people who (so blatantly) violate these commandments expect to get to heaven. Do they really think a confession mouthed to a priest can fool God?

Now let me be a little impudent (imprudent) and suggest some New Year’s resolutions for the President.

And I’ll start with one that has, and will continue to weigh him down:

1. A president has no friends. By all means, have some drinking buddies, but friends have no place in government.

2. Which leads to a corollary: A president’s job is 24/7. After all, it’s only for six years.

3. Knowledge is power; a president must be not well-informed, but fully informed. Former President Fidel Ramos had a red pen that wrote CSW—Complete Staff Work. He would not decide until all the facts were in. But those facts must be in quickly.

4. Which leads to the next point: Speed is of the essence. The renowned slowness of the bureaucracy must be stopped. Five years at the least just to start an infrastructure project is just not acceptable. Three years to pay mayors their share of excise taxes on mining is unconscionable. One year to get just one PPP project started just won’t do. And one that wasn’t even on the list at that. So the president must be demanding, demanding of swift performance, demanding of high performance, demanding of excellence (Peter’s Rule number 15).

5. He must also have a single-minded devotion to an ideology. Lee Kwan Yew had it, Mahathir had it, Aquino has it. He’s correctly identified that corruption and abuse of power must be stopped, before there’s any chance of building a strong, growing economy. There must be societal change before there can be the economic change that can lead to 7, 8, even 9 percent (do we have hope?) growth. It’s been proven, beyond doubt, over the past 40 years that the way Philippine society is structured right now just doesn’t work.

There’s much criticism of him going vindictively after Arroyo, and attacking the Chief Justice. I don’t agree with that criticism. The impunity with which the rich and powerful get away with crime after crime is the principal reason the Philippines has sunk to the bottom of the Asian heap.

So the President is doing the right thing by focusing on corruption, both financial and moral. This is a New Year’s resolution well worth pursuing relentlessly in 2012.

6. Finally, he could do worse than follow Peter’s Laws.

So in 2012, let’s just do.