Top 9 Retarded Things Said By Online Aquino Loyalists
If you go on the social media sites you know it. If you talk to a politically opinionated kid who was born in the nineties you know it. And if you had a conversation with an elderly person dissatisfied with the current administration but does not know what he/she wants, you have had enough of it. This Pro-Aquino propaganda bullshit is really alarming, with hashtags such as #Aquinoparin, you know that shit has really gone down in Philippine society.
To set things straight, I’m no Marcos defender and I am sure Martial Law was no picnic. But these Aquino loyalists have multiplied in number the past years and are really starting to look like various religious/political extremists. These Filipinos come from all walks of life but here are possible traits of an online Aquino Loyalist:
1.) People with a bat-shit sense of logic
3.) Nineties kids or post Marcos era kids that think they are so smart.
Now that I have clarified the terms, without further adieu here are the Top 9 Retarded Things said by Online Aquino Loyalists.
9.) Macoytard!
This line is usually said by an Aquino defender when confronted by facts, as an act of desperation he/she would then attack you personally by labeling you. This does not only show their lack of knowledge of history, but their lack of knowledge of logic. It doesn’t mean that if one hates the Aquino’s, he/she would automatically kiss Marcos’ ass. This is a perfect example of the fallacy of false alternative.
8.) Number 1 fan ka ni Kris Aquino!
Same as above, but this ranks a spot higher due to it scoring higher in the retard scale. Tangina paano ba napunta sa usapan si Kris Aquino!?
7.) Mas mabuti ang buhay natin ngayon dahil pinaalis niyo si Marcos!
A perfect example of a causal fallacy. Yes, we are in the dumps as of today. However it does not necessarily mean that there haven’t been improvements caused by the ousting of Marcos. History however, does show there has been a steady (and ever-worsening) decline since 1986. And has only WORSENED with the current administration.
6.) Ok lang magnanakaw basta may nagawa
When someone says this line my head usually thinks about this analogy, what if your house had a plumbing problem and you called the best plumber in town, he then proceeds to fix your piping issues, however he overcharges you, steals all of your furniture, and bangs your wife. But hey! at least he fixed your piping problem.
5.) They deserved it
This line is usually said by Aquino defenders against the victims of atrocities, such as the Mendiola and Hacienda Luisita Massacres. They say shit such as (non-verbatim) “Your brother was shot and killed in the streets. And deserved it since he’s a commie!” or “Your sister was stupid enough to get involved with the peasant farmers, and deserved a bullet for inciting a revolution!” To all the Aquino defenders out there, if you say insensitive shit similar to this, you’ve got to realize that you’re on the wrong side.
4.) He has more accomplishments than any other president!!!
This is a complete fallacy, since most of his infrastructure projects are riding on the back of former President Gloria Arroyo. But isn’t that to be expected of someone who has 4 years of already questionable power? If another president had the same opportunity as BS Aquino, he/she could have done way more than simply “claiming” as such. Also lets take into account the kick backs he and his cronies were able to earn from these mythical projects. So if some Aquino retard gives you this argument, just throw it right back at that dimwit by saying “Well he stole the most money than all the other presidents combined!!!”
3.) Over 1 million people into Manila’s streets during EDSA
This line is usually said by some kid who thinks that he/she is so smart because he stumbled on bullshit propaganda such as what can be found on these Facebook pages. First of all there is only so much a fucking highway can hold. And if Cardinal Sin had kept his nose out of politics (as the church claims it does) none of the people would have showed up. Plus lets consider that the Philippines is an archipelago thus it is natural that not everyone can go. Aquino retards will continue saying the entire country was involved. And every city had people shouting in the streets.
2.) There is no Yellow Media!
Aquino facts? Propaganda! Media representation? Propaganda! It seems that Aquino loyalists have the same sense of logic as the most fucked up conspiracy theorists. When there is evidence against their claim, they immediately dismiss it as propaganda. They even see it as evidence to support their claim since that is a “cover up”.
1.) Da best si Aquino dahil napaganda nya ang buhay ekonomya natin
This over here is the mothership of Aquino Loyalist stupidity, this is it’s Ferrari, or Lamborghini. This is the pinnacle of Pro-Aquino arguments and the nadir of basic logic. If that is the case what about the presidents that went BEFORE Aquino!? I’m sure mas mura yung bilihin nung panahon ni Aguinaldo, so Aguinaldo should be the greatest of all time! If Americans followed the same fucked up logic, George Washington would be the best since, during his time, you could actually buy a ranch for $20. Lets look at the facts here, while Aquino has been in power the buying power of the peso has further depreciated. Hell, people have already wanted him out midway through his term. This way of thinking CANNOT live to the next generation so if you have the unfortunate realization that you say this line a lot, I would like you to do the following steps:
1.) Pull your pants down
2.) Kiss your balls
3.) Get a knife
4.) (you know what)
5.) Pull your pants up and be proud that you did your country a favor.
Tips to Online Aquino Loyalists
This segment is dedicated to those post EDSA1 kids who think their Autistic idol is the shit. Now pause that game and/or futile job search (the chances are you have a useless Political Science degree anyway), and read this.
1.) Research! Dumbass!: Stop labeling things that debunk your claims as propaganda, maybe the media ain’t biased on this issue? Maybe you’re just a delusional dimwit who thinks he/she is so smart just because he/she saw an Aquino meme online? Try foreign sources.
2.) Read stories about legitimate Aquino Atrocities: Instead of looking at the numbers of the post Marcos era as mere statistics. Let’s try to put a face on it. Now can you tell someone who’s brother or sister who was shot and killed in the streets of Manila. Fighting for farmers equal rights. As someone who had it coming?
3.) Try to have a rudimentary understanding of logic and history: First of all it doesn’t mean that since we are having difficulties today, it was all better in the 1970’s. And secondly were things really better in the 1970’s? If Manny Pacquiao beats Mayweather. Runs for president. And then runs the country to the ground. Will that suddenly make PNoy was the best ever?
And when all else fails:
4.) Fine keep posting retarded shit: It makes you look like a dumb dickhole, but hey BS Aquino just might get re-elected and you will orgasm. However wait until things continue to go wrong. And like his mother before him. Will further run the country down, while stealing more money. Abuse his power more. Until finally ousted by EDSA 4. Maybe then you will realize “Oh my fucking God! I have been such a delusional assfuck.” Just wait 40 years from now then your kids will be posting pro BS Aquino memes with their Iphone18s.
Author’s Note: Every bullshit story has two sides. It is up to you, the reader, to decide whether you choose to believe our bullshit. Or the other guys bullshit. If you choose either route. It only proves what a narrow-minded, lazy ass you are. And fully confirms why, for the last 30 years. You Filipinos have allowed your lives to be systematically destroyed by some of histories worst. Your Public Servants.
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